On a first date, who pays?

My best friend somehow always ends up paying for herself. She is broke (a poor Walmart employee saving up for college). She's had to end several relationships b/c they guy kept taking her to restaurants %26amp; she finally couldn't afford it anymore.





How did it become common for the woman to pay? I have asked all my guy friends %26amp; they all think if a guy never pays for the girl, you are just two friends hanging out %26amp; it isn't a date. I know I'd feel quite comfortable explaining that I'd rather go out Tues b/c I like to have my date nights on Fri/Sat. I'd also discuss w/ a guy friend restaurant choices %26amp; suggesting much cheaper alternatives.





Women's lib people say you should offer to split it. Being from the south, the guys would blow you off %26amp; that would be it. They would pay. But on a first date, if the guy doesn't pay--is it a date? B/c for years that was my way of determining if he was into me. A casual wanna grab food? He just hungry, I paid for mine. A date he paid. Thoughts anyone?

On a first date, who pays?
I think any guy who doesn't at least offer to pay is a pig, and doesn't deserve your friend anyway.
Reply:I am really confused
Reply:We live in Houston, Texas.





My husband was raised in Lubbock, TX and when we went on our first date, he asked me out for drinks. We met at a nice lounge and I was a bit early. He ended up being 20 minutes late and i'll never let him forget it. lol. Anyway, since i was already there I ordered a glass of wine and gave my credit card to open a tab. When he arrived, I told him I had a tab at the bar and we went to go sit down. He went to the bar and opened a tab under his own name and asked them to close mine out. Even when I insisted he put a drink on my tab, he refused. He bought dinner every time we went out and never let me pay for anything, although of course I offered.


Since then, he has explained something to me. He can always get a feel for a girl's intentions. If the girl has honest intentions and seems truly interested in him, he will always pay because that's how he was raised. If he thinks she is full of it, like if a girl at a bar says flirtatiously, "Will you buy me a drink?" or "I don't have a drink..." he won't buy one for her.
Reply:I THINK WHOEVER ASKED THE OTHER PERSON OUT SHOULD PAY
Reply:i dont think


this question should be asked who pays .


usually it is paid by boy but if girl is richer then him then no problem if she pays .second is mutual understanding
Reply:Unless the woman specifies she'd like to treat her man to a meal....I kinda like the idea of the man paying. I'm married and from Kansas. My guy always paid...in the old days! Ha!
Reply:way i saw it first DATE who ever asked paid (so if the girl asked she should be prepared to cover the whole cost). After that i don't think its right to expect either person to pay the full bill (birthdays, anniversaries and extra special dates then guy (unless its his b-day) should pay), the girl should offer to pay for hers and know that she may have to. but as a southern girl you get use to the guys turning down the women's offer to pay. Sigh i miss those southern values.





Also tell your friend if she really likes the guys then she needs to tell them that she can't afford to pay if they go out a lot and to find cheaper/free things to enjoy together.
Reply:Ok here's my philosophy. Anyone can pay for a date. Now on the first date I believe it should be the person that did the asking. On the second date either. When and if the two become an item at that point I think a nice system of switching off works well, one pays one week, the other the following; that also works great if they get paid on opposite weeks from each other.





Only after they are engaged do I think actual splitting should occur.
Reply:the man should always pay. I'm from Arkansas BTW.
Reply:On a first date, it is acceptable for each person to pay for their own meal, but most guys want to "rack up a few points" by paying for the meal. AFter the first date, the couple can take turns paying. It is my opinion, however, that the guy should pay for meals.
Reply:If the guy asked you out then he pays.
Reply:it all dpends on were you go but call me old school first date man pays but if she ask me she pays
Reply:yeah ithought that the guy had to paid too. i think that the guy like should always pay, because thats the nce thing to do. if she is broke, then no she shouldn't be paying for herself %26amp;%26amp; she should have ended a relationship if the guy never paid for anything. on the first date though, i think that that it is nice to split the cost though, because it is the FIRST date, but it should never happen like that again. but she honestly shouldn't even date if she has no money, because you can't really do anything without money. she should like take out a loan and use hat, and defer all her payments until after she graduates, and then overtime set aside money, while using some for herself. and walmart isn't the best job, she should look somewhere else and try to find a place. good luck with everything!


%26lt;3
Reply:yea i pay for all dates i go to. I work hard and save up for that. If a guy makes the girl pay, well thats messed up! its ok that the girl offers to pay PART of the charge but not ALL of it.


The guy who wont pay dosen't deserve a girlfriend (or fiancee or wife ext.)
Reply:Depends...who is the rich one or who has more love to show...but does love need money to grow?
Reply:The guy pays, if he's any kind of gentleman.
Reply:I've NEVER paid for myself on a date! If a guy asked me to 'grab a bite', then when the bill came, I just sat there while he paid up. He asked me! Now if I had ever asked a guy to go 'grab a bite', then I'd pay.
Reply:Don't be shortchanged. The man pays. The man pays for the pleasure of her company.
Reply:i am old school and the guy should always pay on the first date but i did have a few girls that wanted to split the bill or even pay their own way on occassion and i always told them no you can split the bill with me another time if you like
Reply:i would for all of them...cause that's how i am
Reply:well i live in the windy city chicogo and for us first date it depends where if its like the movies the guy is soupposed to pay for her and her food but if its just out to like a restruant then they should always offer to pay half and they guy is always expose to pay half or what he ate if he ate a 2 doller sandwich and she ate a 15 doller meal then the guy is always expose to pay for half unless he buys the 15 doller meal and she buys the 2 then he pays for it all but say the both orderd a 15 doller meal then they split it confusing much but after the first date and if they end up going out then the guy ALWAYS PAYS no matter what
Reply:Unless it is discussed before the date, Dont even take a chance on wondering if hell ever pay for you. Make it understood he pays. Then you wont have the problem when the check comes.
Reply:im old fashion, if the guy wont pay hes not worth anything dump him, im from ar
Reply:The person who asks the other out should pay.
Reply:Im a guy and always pay for the meal.





Exceptions are only when my girlfriend insists on paying half.





I can't believe where you are the lady pays!





I think it would be frowned upon in Britain.
Reply:I grew up in the northern panhandle of WV, 2 miles from Ohio, less than 20 miles from Pennsylvania, so the culture where I grew up was much more like OH and PA than the foothills of WV.





Anyway, I always believed and was taught that whoever asked for the date was the one who payed... For instance if the girl initiated the date, then she payed for both parties. If the guy asked the girl out, then he payed.





I personally was not a girl who was comfortable asking guys out and I did generally offer to pay, at least occasionally, and ever 3 or 4 dates I would always plan a date on my own and make sure everything was payed for. Being traditional doesn't mean you have to be a user.





But in your friend's situation, maybe these guys see her in a plantonic way, or maybe she is just too insistant on paying for herself. I would not continue to date someone who constantly went dutch.
Reply:i am from the south and the guy should always pay. hell even when i took just a friend out that is a girl i still pay, but that is why they call us southern gentlemen. Back in college when we would have keg parties, we never even charged girls for cups it was just understood that girls drink for free and some of the girls told me that it was not like that in the north which just blew me away
Reply:the man no matter whos dating and no matter whos richer. DUH!





Im from California.
Reply:The guy is always to pay no matter what is going on unless his credit is over limit or declined that is where the woman pays. or if he dont have enough cash on him.





Then you when it is to lost friends of the same sex you either split the tab or say i will get bill if you get tip or the person who is the their home town and other person is visiting for a fews days or so.
Reply:I, too, am from the South and I was raised if the boy then men wanted you to pay that he does not repect you He will think your easy (in that way) and that he will get the idea that that this is going to be a forerer thing and she will be the mist


taking and nio govong.
Reply:your momma