On a first date, who pays?

My best friend somehow always ends up paying for herself. She is broke (a poor Walmart employee saving up for college). She's had to end several relationships b/c they guy kept taking her to restaurants %26amp; she finally couldn't afford it anymore.





How did it become common for the woman to pay? I have asked all my guy friends %26amp; they all think if a guy never pays for the girl, you are just two friends hanging out %26amp; it isn't a date. I know I'd feel quite comfortable explaining that I'd rather go out Tues b/c I like to have my date nights on Fri/Sat. I'd also discuss w/ a guy friend restaurant choices %26amp; suggesting much cheaper alternatives.





Women's lib people say you should offer to split it. Being from the south, the guys would blow you off %26amp; that would be it. They would pay. But on a first date, if the guy doesn't pay--is it a date? B/c for years that was my way of determining if he was into me. A casual wanna grab food? He just hungry, I paid for mine. A date he paid. Thoughts anyone?

On a first date, who pays?
I think any guy who doesn't at least offer to pay is a pig, and doesn't deserve your friend anyway.
Reply:I am really confused
Reply:We live in Houston, Texas.





My husband was raised in Lubbock, TX and when we went on our first date, he asked me out for drinks. We met at a nice lounge and I was a bit early. He ended up being 20 minutes late and i'll never let him forget it. lol. Anyway, since i was already there I ordered a glass of wine and gave my credit card to open a tab. When he arrived, I told him I had a tab at the bar and we went to go sit down. He went to the bar and opened a tab under his own name and asked them to close mine out. Even when I insisted he put a drink on my tab, he refused. He bought dinner every time we went out and never let me pay for anything, although of course I offered.


Since then, he has explained something to me. He can always get a feel for a girl's intentions. If the girl has honest intentions and seems truly interested in him, he will always pay because that's how he was raised. If he thinks she is full of it, like if a girl at a bar says flirtatiously, "Will you buy me a drink?" or "I don't have a drink..." he won't buy one for her.
Reply:I THINK WHOEVER ASKED THE OTHER PERSON OUT SHOULD PAY
Reply:i dont think


this question should be asked who pays .


usually it is paid by boy but if girl is richer then him then no problem if she pays .second is mutual understanding
Reply:Unless the woman specifies she'd like to treat her man to a meal....I kinda like the idea of the man paying. I'm married and from Kansas. My guy always paid...in the old days! Ha!
Reply:way i saw it first DATE who ever asked paid (so if the girl asked she should be prepared to cover the whole cost). After that i don't think its right to expect either person to pay the full bill (birthdays, anniversaries and extra special dates then guy (unless its his b-day) should pay), the girl should offer to pay for hers and know that she may have to. but as a southern girl you get use to the guys turning down the women's offer to pay. Sigh i miss those southern values.





Also tell your friend if she really likes the guys then she needs to tell them that she can't afford to pay if they go out a lot and to find cheaper/free things to enjoy together.
Reply:Ok here's my philosophy. Anyone can pay for a date. Now on the first date I believe it should be the person that did the asking. On the second date either. When and if the two become an item at that point I think a nice system of switching off works well, one pays one week, the other the following; that also works great if they get paid on opposite weeks from each other.





Only after they are engaged do I think actual splitting should occur.
Reply:the man should always pay. I'm from Arkansas BTW.
Reply:On a first date, it is acceptable for each person to pay for their own meal, but most guys want to "rack up a few points" by paying for the meal. AFter the first date, the couple can take turns paying. It is my opinion, however, that the guy should pay for meals.
Reply:If the guy asked you out then he pays.
Reply:it all dpends on were you go but call me old school first date man pays but if she ask me she pays
Reply:yeah ithought that the guy had to paid too. i think that the guy like should always pay, because thats the nce thing to do. if she is broke, then no she shouldn't be paying for herself %26amp;%26amp; she should have ended a relationship if the guy never paid for anything. on the first date though, i think that that it is nice to split the cost though, because it is the FIRST date, but it should never happen like that again. but she honestly shouldn't even date if she has no money, because you can't really do anything without money. she should like take out a loan and use hat, and defer all her payments until after she graduates, and then overtime set aside money, while using some for herself. and walmart isn't the best job, she should look somewhere else and try to find a place. good luck with everything!


%26lt;3
Reply:yea i pay for all dates i go to. I work hard and save up for that. If a guy makes the girl pay, well thats messed up! its ok that the girl offers to pay PART of the charge but not ALL of it.


The guy who wont pay dosen't deserve a girlfriend (or fiancee or wife ext.)
Reply:Depends...who is the rich one or who has more love to show...but does love need money to grow?
Reply:The guy pays, if he's any kind of gentleman.
Reply:I've NEVER paid for myself on a date! If a guy asked me to 'grab a bite', then when the bill came, I just sat there while he paid up. He asked me! Now if I had ever asked a guy to go 'grab a bite', then I'd pay.
Reply:Don't be shortchanged. The man pays. The man pays for the pleasure of her company.
Reply:i am old school and the guy should always pay on the first date but i did have a few girls that wanted to split the bill or even pay their own way on occassion and i always told them no you can split the bill with me another time if you like
Reply:i would for all of them...cause that's how i am
Reply:well i live in the windy city chicogo and for us first date it depends where if its like the movies the guy is soupposed to pay for her and her food but if its just out to like a restruant then they should always offer to pay half and they guy is always expose to pay half or what he ate if he ate a 2 doller sandwich and she ate a 15 doller meal then the guy is always expose to pay for half unless he buys the 15 doller meal and she buys the 2 then he pays for it all but say the both orderd a 15 doller meal then they split it confusing much but after the first date and if they end up going out then the guy ALWAYS PAYS no matter what
Reply:Unless it is discussed before the date, Dont even take a chance on wondering if hell ever pay for you. Make it understood he pays. Then you wont have the problem when the check comes.
Reply:im old fashion, if the guy wont pay hes not worth anything dump him, im from ar
Reply:The person who asks the other out should pay.
Reply:Im a guy and always pay for the meal.





Exceptions are only when my girlfriend insists on paying half.





I can't believe where you are the lady pays!





I think it would be frowned upon in Britain.
Reply:I grew up in the northern panhandle of WV, 2 miles from Ohio, less than 20 miles from Pennsylvania, so the culture where I grew up was much more like OH and PA than the foothills of WV.





Anyway, I always believed and was taught that whoever asked for the date was the one who payed... For instance if the girl initiated the date, then she payed for both parties. If the guy asked the girl out, then he payed.





I personally was not a girl who was comfortable asking guys out and I did generally offer to pay, at least occasionally, and ever 3 or 4 dates I would always plan a date on my own and make sure everything was payed for. Being traditional doesn't mean you have to be a user.





But in your friend's situation, maybe these guys see her in a plantonic way, or maybe she is just too insistant on paying for herself. I would not continue to date someone who constantly went dutch.
Reply:i am from the south and the guy should always pay. hell even when i took just a friend out that is a girl i still pay, but that is why they call us southern gentlemen. Back in college when we would have keg parties, we never even charged girls for cups it was just understood that girls drink for free and some of the girls told me that it was not like that in the north which just blew me away
Reply:the man no matter whos dating and no matter whos richer. DUH!





Im from California.
Reply:The guy is always to pay no matter what is going on unless his credit is over limit or declined that is where the woman pays. or if he dont have enough cash on him.





Then you when it is to lost friends of the same sex you either split the tab or say i will get bill if you get tip or the person who is the their home town and other person is visiting for a fews days or so.
Reply:I, too, am from the South and I was raised if the boy then men wanted you to pay that he does not repect you He will think your easy (in that way) and that he will get the idea that that this is going to be a forerer thing and she will be the mist


taking and nio govong.
Reply:your momma

FIrst date from hell or cheap date?

I had a date from hell. He was cheap! He bought himself something to eat and ate in front of me. He left 20 minutes later and I ended up going for coffee myself. ANyone had a cheap date or a date from hell?

FIrst date from hell or cheap date?
That's terrible!


Years ago I went on a blind date.We met at a restaurant.They opened the door of their car a crack,said"I just wanted to prove that I would show up but I'm not staying" and left.


I think it happens to everyone.There are lots of jerks in the world,but don't worry,you'll find a gem eventually.
Reply:geez what a fag.
Reply:The second he got himself something and offered you nothing would have been when I departed!


Have some pride girl!


Fortunately, I have not experienced anything like that!
Reply:Omg lol that's terrible I'm sorry!


I haven't had anything like that and hopefully never will.
Reply:at least you learned how he is now and dont have to waste anymore time with him!!!!!


just keep your head up, dont let one bumb get you down!

dentistry

Third date rule…for sex part 2? guys opinion?

Third date rule…Part 2


Okay on the third date rule to wait for sex. I wasn’t getting the answers I wanted.


Here is some facts:


The guy is my Twin (brothers) best friend and has been for years.


He is nice and complements me and treats me nicely complete gentleman, someone my twin and best friend likes and trust.


Even though we’ll be going on date # 3 I have been talking to him and getting to know him for over a month.


I am emotionally available. I am attracted to him.


My worry is even though I have gotten to know him is sex too early by the third date, not that I am fallowing a rule-guide here. I feel ready, but from a guys point of view what would that say about the girl. I am worried about getting burned. Thinking I’m something I am not, would that seem too long or too short for a guy wanting a relationship.


This is someone my twin set me up with, so i know he is an over all good guy, but what woulda guy think about that? Too early? I wanted a guys opinion.

Third date rule…for sex part 2? guys opinion?
I would wait. I know you two have been talking for a month, but if you want your relationship to be based off more than sex just wait a little longer. The last thing I want is for you to get burned. I know you both probably want to do, but trust me, a guy's view of a girl changes dramatically after sex. Guys are all about the thrill of the hunt and once he has sex with you, the hunt is over. If you wait and continue to build your relationship, you'll see a couple things.


1. If he is still interested in you for you and not for what you can offer sexually.





2. When a guy invests more time into the girl he is going to have sex with, he stops seeing them as a thing to pleasure him, but instead he sees them as a person with emotions. At this point he won't burn you after sex.





3. The sex you will eventually have will be so much better, because it is not based only on lust and physical sensations, but something deeper something more. Like they say, the good things come to those who wait.
Reply:Loser...wait till 101th date then. when ur 50yrs old.
Reply:hhmm no nothing is wrong with going bout it to early, trust me no guy will complain about it.. anyways dont tell him in a slutty way, just nicely..GOOD LUCK!!
Reply:if you think it is right, do it.


any guy is going to tell you to do it.


you have to think for yourself.


i think you should have done it 1 or 2 dates ago.
Reply:Jules,





The woman is in control of this situation. If your not ready, your not ready...but ya gotta talk about it. If he only is dating you for sex, you'll know, but if he's into you, he'll wait till your ready......just don't hold out forever.....eventually he'll think sumtins not right
Reply:He'll Go For It...........
Reply:if you feel you are ready wait abit longer and if he tries it on you, you know he is ready or you could wait and wait and wait and then try it on him because then if he turns you down you can say well we have been together for ageeeessssssss what is wrong with you lol
Reply:If you carry yourself with respect and dignity and you feel like he respects you, sex will not change that. Its important to know that he respects u first
Reply:if u really care bout him go for it. but only if he wants to too. if he feels its to soon the just wait but if he feels the same way the go for it. i mean every person is different so this "rules" dont work on all the guys.
Reply:If you're ready, and he's ready, and you feel he's not just out for that one thing, why not?
Reply:It is wholy your call on this. We guys want sex as soon as possible. Like the first date. But you know your heart and your soul. Dont feel pressure to do something you might regret. Wait another month or two. It wont hurt to wait. Good Luck
Reply:I'm sure he already knows that you are a filthy little trollop, so offering him sex will not surprise him.





Hope this helps.

Does the conceiving date determin the due date?

Me and my husband are planning on a baby, Our son's birthday is in September, so he doesn't want the baby to also be born in september. So I was wondering if the due date has to do with the date I conceived or if it the due date is based on the date after my period ends that the new ummm blood to form a baby forms? I know not too techniqual of a term I forgot what thats called

Does the conceiving date determin the due date?
You are pregnant since conception -after the egg is fertilized by a sperm and then implanted in the lining of the uterus, it develops into the placenta and embryo, and later into a fetus. Pregnancy usually lasts 40 weeks, beginning from the first day of the woman's last menstrual period.......


Your pregnancy is determined from the date of last menstral period, not date of conception. Each pregnancy, expectant mother, and unborn child is different.
Reply:Doctors count 40 days from your last period to get the due date. Conception can be 2-3 weeks after that. It's really the time of conception that determines when your baby will be born. (Babies are born early or late, too).





It sounds like you need to wait until February or later to get pregnant.
Reply:Doctors use the first day of your last period to determine your due date. What they do is count back three months from the start of your period and then add seven days and that is your due date. So, for example if your last period started on Nov. 13th your due date would be August 20th.
Reply:The 'due date' is calculated from the first day of your last period and is generally 40 weeks (depending on which country you are in). Please note that the due date is just an estimate and the baby will come when it's ready.





Goodluck
Reply:They base the due date on the day of the last period since most people do not know when they conceived.
Reply:Doctors calculate your due date based on the first day of your last period. The very first day you had bright red blood.





It might be adjusted later from ultrasounds.
Reply:I conceived the very beginning of January and my due-date was September 25th. (the first day of my last period was towards the end of December). Get pregnant any other month than January and you should be OK. lol Remember though, babies come early and late, so its best just to wait until the Spring if you want to have a baby in 2008.

1st Date Help?

Tomorrow I'm going to see "I Am Legend" with the guy I'm interested in dating. Is this a good date movie? Have any tips for a good first date/ movie date? Ideas are appreciated.

1st Date Help?
Wait for P.S. I love you to come out. Or go to something scary. The Golden Compass has some scary scenes. If you want to watch something at home, The Notebook.
Reply:I just saw it a few days ago, and while it is a really great movie, it isn't a great first date movie. For a first date, you want a good date movie, try these:





August Rush


This Christmas


Fred Claus


Enchanted





basically anything funny, is what I would recommend.
Reply:see PS: I love you, I due to release soon, not out yet I think.


(assuming you are a girl).





If you are a guy then go ahead with the Will smith movie!
Reply:I am legend is a good movie to see.





stay away from those sappy love/christmas movies. theyll just make you and the guy want to gag on the cheesiness

Should I pay mortgage on "late charge date" or on "due date"?

My mortgage due date is 1st of the month, and late charge date is 15 days later. As long as I pay the mortgage on/before 15th of the month, there will be no late charge. However, I have the following questions:


1) If I pay mortgage on 15th instead of on 1st, will the payoff amount different 5 years later? In other words, is the payment applied on the actual date or a certain set date (e.g.15th), and how is the balance amount calculated?


2) If I pay mortgage on 15th instead of on 1st, will it affect my credit score? I know if I pay after 1st, it's late.


3) In property tax case, there is due date and there is delinquency date. It's best to pay on delinquency date rather than due date. But is the mortgage case similar? Maybe not.





Thanks a lot for your answer.

Should I pay mortgage on "late charge date" or on "due date"?
due date
Reply:The problem with leaving your payment until the 15th is that if there is any delay or screw up, it will show as a late payment. And yes, interest continues to accrue during the 15 days you wait to make the payment. If you can, set up an autopay with your mortgagor so that the payments are made on the first of every month without fail. Then just be sure the money is in the bank!! Good Luck!!
Reply:I've always paid my mortgage, so the payment will be there by the 15th of the month. It makes no difference if you pay it on the 1st or the 14th. If you pay it on the 1st, the mortgage company has 14 days to invest your money and make more. It's never affected my credit or credit score.
Reply:you got to much time on hand.


now for a real world consideration.


should you keep paying this game - you will lose and it will cost you. pay your bills when due and you will not shoot yourself in your (pick a part).


cause the banks win with your thinking, you lose.
Reply:Just pay your mortgage on the first. always pay your bills early.they have to be paid anyway. why wait till the last minute


and risk being late. i will be paying my Jan 1 due date on Dec 29 and the late date is Jan 15.


Pay your property tax early. for the same reason as noted above.


there is no benefit to holding your money and paying just in time.
Reply:Pay the mortage with a check on the 15th before it is due and date it the 1st when itis due. It other words the check isn't good until the 1st.

veneers

First date advice....?

I posted this last night but didnt get much of a response...





Girl I met through a friend at a party over Thanksgiving break, we hit it off real well, and she IM's me, calls etc... Goes to school about 2 hours away but I want to plan a date over Christmas break, and possibly hanging out... I know I may be jumping the gun, but she'll be home.. at her parents... Being a first date, should I go up to her front door, blah blah blah and meet the parents... or is that reserved for later dates when its more serious? I just feel like when/if we get more serious I'd meet the parents, not really first date... Any thoughts ladies? and perhaps guys have any advice

First date advice....?
ASk her if she'd like to meet up someplace or you should pick her up. Might make it easier on you.
Reply:" just feel like when/if we get more serious I'd meet the parents, not really first date"
Reply:I always meet her parents on the first date. I think that by going ahead and meeting them you're (in their eyes) letting them know that she's in a good hands. I usually just meet them because I want them to know me because they've met me, and not just guess at my personality based off of stories she may have told.





Now actually hanging out with her parents and spending "quality time" with them is something that goes on later, but yes, I'd at least introduce myself as a respectable young man first.
Reply:Talk with her. Ask her what she'd be interested in doing. Would she rather meet somewhere, or is she into the old-fashioned stuff?





I take it she has a mind of her own. Everybody's different.





I just suggested that a guy consider taking a girl to a ballgame on a first date, so obviously I'm no traditionalist.





Two heads are better than one-- I'm sure y'all will come up with something.





Good Luck!