To date or not to date? To have sex with or not to have sex with That is the question!? Confused, HELP!?

Okiedokie, there are a few different questions in here, so try to give opinions on whatever you feel like. I’m just lost here.





There is a guy I know. He‘s nice, sweet, and always hits on me…


Physically, some days I think he’s attractive, others not. Conventionally, he wouldn’t be, though that’s never mattered to me…





I have considered dating him, but my closest friends said it wasn’t a good idea, because of the way he looks and how he’s a total goofball. They all kept saying “Oh come on, you can’t be that desperate. We’ll be disappointed in you if you date him. You could do better, you know you can. No one would ever date him anyway.”





So, because I trust these people, I started to believe that this guy was too repulsive to date, or just plain too weird… even though he’s incredibly sweet.





Well, now, there’s this girl that’s basically in love with him, but he doesn’t feel the same way about her. In terms of attractiveness, she isn’t hideous, either. Actually sorta cute.

To date or not to date? To have sex with or not to have sex with That is the question!? Confused, HELP!?
Well, I would have 2 bits of advice for you, %26amp; I hope they make sense. First, don't be a tool %26amp; let what your friends think guide your every decision. Not to offend you or anything, but that really is being a tool, in my opinion. When I see girls who are so worried about how their friends will react if they date a guy, I think they are tools. Instead, have the courage to do what you want to do. True friends will support you %26amp; be happy for you, even if they can't understand your attraction to this guy. One of my best friends is married to a woman who reminds me of a foul-mouthed Edith Bunker, %26amp; I find her disgusting, but if he's happy, I'm happy for him. This guy may be a goofball %26amp; of average looks, but he might also turn out to be the sort of guy who will treat you like the only woman in the world. Heck, he might be one of those good guys who never gets a chance, because girls' friends are always badmouthing him.


That said, onto my second bit of advice: go slowly. Yeah, you want to lose your virginity, that's understandable. However, you aren't particularly sure if this is the right guy to experience sex with for the first time. So, instead, take things at a pace with which you're fairly comfortable, %26amp; just build slowly until you get where you want to be. At the end of the first date, leave things with a goodnight kiss if that's all you're comfortable doing, but if you would rather bump things up to a goodnight series of kisses that fog the windshield, that's okay, too. As things progress, you'll need to let him go a little past your comfort threshold each date, %26amp; make sure he takes his time making you comfortable with the new activity. Just make sure you maintain control %26amp; that you have a condom on hand in case you decide you're ready for that first penetration. If you need any more advice, you might consult a site like the one below for more information.
Reply:Thanks for the votes %26amp; the 10 points! Report It

Reply:No, do not have sex for these reason. Wait for the right person to have sex with. You will regret it if you don't and you would be using this guy and that isn't right and you know it.
Reply:1. Figure out what you want.


Do you want a sweet guy whom does not give into temptation? Do you want good looks? Do you want someone you can trust?





2. Decide why you would date this guy.


Would you date him so the other girl can't have him?





3. Stand up for yourself.


Don't let your friends depict who you can and cannot date. It's your life, you handle it the way you want to.





4. Treat him nice (if you date him).


Self-explanatory.
Reply:Do not let your Friends substitute for your feelings, go it slow do not feel rushed or a need to please any one but yourself.
Reply:Go for it -- the date, at least. If it works, try a few more. Then you can make a more intelligent choice about whether you want to hustle him into the sack. Sex is fun, but it is also complicated, so be ready to deal with its effect on your feelings.
Reply:Listen sweetie pie--this is kid crap--find a decent guy that you want to date for the right reasons--do what you want to do--with who you want to do it with---even if it is a repulsive obnoxious boy--if that is what you want--it is no one elses business. What are you going to do?? ---ask people all your life about what you should do...??? It does not sound like you are old enough or mature enough or even educated enough to have any kind of sexual encounter. Who ever the partner is--you will have to marry him if HE gets you pregnant---make sure you want this guy for the next 18 years of raising a kid. I am assuming you know sex brings babies....and sometimes even a fatal disease. How precious !!!
Reply:You have a very interesting predicament. I think it is very important to consider the advise of close friends when it comes to dating and relationships. They can give objective observations which you otherwise wouldn't see. Having said that, it does seem to me that your friends' opinions are very superficial. Just because they don't find the guy attractive doesn't mean you shouldn't. And so what if he isn't, as long as your attracted to him?





Now, as for making out with him, this gets trickier. It all boils down to whether or not you feel you will regret it afterwards. If all you want is a one-night stand regardless of the outcome, then by all means go ahead. But if you're expecting something deeper, and it does turn out he was just lusting after you, ask yourself if you will be disappointed and regret having done it. If your answer is yes, then my advise is don't do it.
Reply:Do it.
Reply:letting other people decide who you should and shopuld not date sounds very dumb to me! what if he is great looking and a jerk and they think its ok you would be out with him already?? please you deserve the jerks for thinking that way!
Reply:if youre too confused then why are you worried about having sex if your mind isnt straight? i think you will regret it, so many girls say they regret giving up their virginity to a guy they dont even see anymore or didnt care, it bothers me that so many girls are just having sex for the heck of it. you need to get your head straight before making a decision instead of an unbalanced one. and youre friends who say hes nothing is rude, they dont know him and they already made you turn against him, dont always assume the worst
Reply:You only live once. Women, including myself, complain that there aren't enough GOOD men in the world and completely ignore the fact that there is usually a really good man chasing after us. We make up every excuse in the entire book as to why its a bad idea.





I'd say go for it. What could it hurt? Honestly think about it! You have control over your feelings. You can date him without getting emotionally attached if you keep telling yourself that. Do that until you really think that he's worth your heart and soul. Give a little bit and a little more if things are going good.
Reply:Attraction is a funny thing. It certainly isn't always based on looks, and conventional standards of beauty. If your so called friends find it necessary to manipulate you in the manner that you've described...you may want to re evaluate those relationships. Best Wishes :)
Reply:hun, im 29 years old...... never listen to ya "friends" as far as romance goes. that "loser guy" could turn out to be just what you need. popularity has NOTHING TO DO WITH DATING OR LOVE !!!





if you take advice from ya friends, make sure its "dont do drugs" "dont have sex w/o a condom" or "dont smoke" .... got that?








not one person in tha world has control over you or your emotions.....yer young, follow YOUR heart, not OTHER peoples say-so.