Gay son wants to date at 15?

my son just turned 15... he thought he was bi... and we discussed it.... now he says he is gay.... regardless.... he wants to date this guy from school.... we have had several conversations concerning him being bi or gay and i have told him that no matter what.... i will always love him and i accept him for who he is... but... at this tender age.. i can't allow him to "date" a guy.... now i find out that he asked a guy to "date" him after i told him not to do this...and they are "dating" .... i have learned this is not the first guy he has asked to "date"... if one guy says no... he immediatly asks another..... he says he doesn't like being single... he likes dating..............so...... need advice...... should he be allowed to date when i really believe he may be confused at this time in his life... and may look back on it and think.... what was i thinking..... i am trying to look out for him now and in the future.....anyone know of any sites that may help me....... thank you....

Gay son wants to date at 15?
I don't think you should be considering the fact that he's gay for this answer. If he was straight would you let him date a girl at this age? If no then the same rule applies if yes then let him date.
Reply:Would you have allowed him to date a girl at this age? If the answer is yes, then you are in the wrong, and he should be allowed to date. It seems the only thing you don't like is that you don't want him to "date" a guy. Why are you putting date in quotations? Do you believe your son and another boy can't have a true relationship? You seem to be showing some bias even though you are saying you will love him no matter what. By the way, that is what dating is. Asking and going out with -many- people.





Also, please stop using the dots .....like this. It's very annoying and doesn't make your question look serious, you almost look like you are the kid asking a question rather then an adult.
Reply:Regardless of orientation, I believe 15 is too young to date at all. I think you're seeing too much into the orientation. How would you reaction be to him dating girl after girl like that? It sounds like he's trying to find a way to fill a void if he has made the statment that he doesn't like being single. He needs to be happy with himself being single in order to prevent him from going from one heartache to the next.
Reply:Well everyone pretty much said all the things i wanted to say except, that i would sit down and discuss with him if he is having sex with all these boys. They do not have to worry about getting pregnant but they do have to worry about std's and what not. Boys are very horny and sexual beings at that age. This is much more important than is 15 y/o OK to date.
Reply:You said "should he be allowed to date when i really believe he may be confused at this time in his life", if he really is confused then you should let him date and find out if he really is gay or bi. Let him learn from his mistakes (if he makes any) I think it's really great that you are being so supportive.
Reply:He is probably confused, but I like that you support him. But it sounds like he is codependent. THe way he always has to have someone there. But don't tell him he can't date a certain person or that he can't date at all. He'll want to do it even more. I had this friend who's mom was in denial and wouldn't let her son date girls, but he did anyways and now he dates guys too. He was just doing this as rebelion. She heard about it and he told her that those people who were telling her were druggies (including me). So heads up if you hear something and your son says this, don't think right off that he is lying but don't think those people are. But ask his friends what they think and all. But DON"T SAY NO TO DATING BECAUSE HE WILL DO IT ANYWAYS!!!
Reply:if you would let him date girls at the age of 15 if he were straight, then he should be able to date boys at that age. he is not going to look back on this and wonder what he or you were thinking. he is gay or bi. straight boys do not have boys on their mind at all at the age of 15. you should look up PRIDE sites. there is a group for the friends and family i think it might be GLAAD or something like that. he is going to do this whether you let him or not so you may as well allow it an know what he is doing. by allowing him to live his life as he is, you are looking out for his future. he won't have to live a double life like so many gay people do. he won't have to avoid people who don't accept his lifestyle. by accepting him, you will be helping him.
Reply:Dating at that age is more of a school thing. They say they are, they have lunch together, hang out, and thats about it. He is trying to be cool, he may think that having some one is what it means to be an adult. You really need to ask him "Why are you willing to date anyone?" Explain to him that being in a relationship is about caring a lot for one person more than any one in the world. If he is just "playing the field" then let it go. He is just trying to figure everything out, and see what he likes or doesn't like in a mate. I won't worry about it. As for his future we ALL do things that we look back on and wonder what was we thinking. But thats how we learn. Right now he is learning about him self. What does he find attractive in other people and how to have a "relationship". Thats how he goes from being confussed to knowing what he wants.
Reply:Here is how i see it. You need to honstely and truthfully look at your feelings. If he wanted to date a girl would you object? If you have other kids did you let them date at that age or are you going to let them date at that age? If no to both then you need to have another conversation with him about dating. If you think he may still confused and he will regeret it then that is not a good reason. I would talk about why he is dating so much there is something missing and he is looking for love or something to fill a void and that is not healthy even if he was straight. You need to be complete before you are with someone.
Reply:I think at this age, if he thinks he is gay then he really is... and he has probably put a lot of thought into it. I would just wonder how open your community is to gays and lesbians. I hear so many awful stories about gay kids in school who were beat up and abused and it scares me to death. You can't stop him from dating, but you can just make sure he is safe. What a good parent you are for supporting your son. If only more parents could be like you!
Reply:So, he's 15, gay and he wants to date. Would you feel different if he were 15, straight and wanted to date?








I'm failing to see the problem. Especially since you told him you love him and accept his choices.
Reply:I'd not let him. My mom didn't let me date until 16 and I plan to use that rule on my kids as well. It has nothing to do with his age, but with responsibility. I'd also want my kid old enough to drive themself so if the date goes sour, they can get home safely.
Reply:You may say you accept your son, but you dont. If you did, you wouldnt be talking about him being gay, it would simply be a question of the appropriate dating age.





Would you be so concerned about his future and his confusion if he were wanting to date a girl?





You need to think about your priorities.





EVERYONE is confused at that age, we all look back and go, what was I thinking, even those who have no issues about their sexual orientation or identity.





You need to get off yourself and REALY think about your son, instead of what the joe blow may think in the future about him dating a guy in high school.
Reply:If he were straight and wanted to date a girl would you feel the same way? or do you not want him to date because it is with a guy? If it is the latter he may feel like even though you say you will accept him you are still holding him back by not letting him date and that is why he constantly has a boyfriend in his life.





If you would not let him date if he was straight then I would have a talk with him about not putting yourself out there and playing hard to get so guys will be more interested, have fun now and just hang out because come college things will be different...things like that. Just a like a 15yo girl who wants to have a bf all the time, its a needy thing to feel loved- something is making him feel like he needs a bf, you should try to figure out what that is.





best of luck :)
Reply:I don't know of anysites but I do feel that dating at 15 isn't the greatest idea gay or straight.
Reply:I think you should let him date but I dont think he should be asking a random person after someone says no. And that jerk who said ur a bad parent doesnt know what he is talking about. Your a great parent to support him after you found out he is gay.
Reply:Where is his Father??? No one as made that statement yet! IS there a father in the house??????
Reply:how can u be gay at 15 you are a very bad parent